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Relym
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« Reply #90 on: July 03, 2009, 02:53:32 PM » |
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Dear m-p3x9,
...what?
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is to end it all. I hate Christmas, and I would appreciate it if you would just kill me. Thank you. To avoid any confusion, I will be the one lying awake, crying.
P.S.
Someone shit on the coats.
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John and Mary had never met before, much like two hummingbirds who had also never met before.
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Snowman
Senior Member
 Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 554
Save a plant, eat a vegetarian
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« Reply #91 on: July 03, 2009, 04:05:19 PM » |
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Dear Relym,
Why do you need me to kill you, sonny? You know how many cookies I have to eat, and how many glasses of milk I have to drink on Christmas. I'm a busy man, how 'bout I getcha some glue and you can sniff that or swallow it or something, mmk?
P.S. Hope it wasn't MY coat! *blends in*
Dear Santa Claus,
Can you make me a device that slows down technology? Every time I buy a new electronic gadget the thing goes obsolete in a couple months, so I just...I just wanna slow down technology a little...little bit.
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m-p3x9
Full Member
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 311
"how do they get the bones out?"
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« Reply #92 on: July 04, 2009, 02:23:57 AM » |
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dear snowman: yes! here is a refrigerator magnet... slows down many computor components on contact dear santa: im so poor that all i have to eat are the bugs... could i have a peice of cheese? (and an ability to teleport in and out of banks- errrr to and from my friends houses  ) |
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The sunrise does not feel beautiful A diamond never feels precious. It isn't about what you feel like- it's about who you are I saw this on *halowood*'s sig and i had to see the context... snowman just became a million times cooler and this forum that much more awesome 0.o Yeah I wasn't about to let her come in here and keep that shit up. I like this forum.
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Relym
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« Reply #93 on: July 06, 2009, 02:45:18 PM » |
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Dear m-p3x9,
I am sorry to inform you that you are an utter dolt. I get letters like this every single day of the year. I'm only 30 years old, and look at all this white hair I have. You wanna know why it's like that? You. You and all the other snotty kids who think they can beat the system. The system is there for a reason. If I can't wrap it, and if it doesn't comply with your parent's budgets, I can't do it. Now leave me alone.
Dear Santa,
Can I be black for Christmas?
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John and Mary had never met before, much like two hummingbirds who had also never met before.
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Halowood
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« Reply #94 on: August 05, 2009, 09:47:30 AM » |
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Dear m-p3x9.
You Are But I Also Changed All Your Members Into White Supremists.
Dear Santa.
STARFISHES LOVE YOU.
STARFISH
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 "I had a dream where I was king.
I woke up, still king"
Yeah I wasn't about to let her come in here and keep that shit up. I like this forum.
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Relym
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« Reply #95 on: August 05, 2009, 12:25:12 PM » |
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Dear... Starfish,
I'm sure there's a logical reason for this letter, but my psychologist says it doesn't exist. I'll find you Starfish! Mark my words! You and all of your loving kind!
-Santa
Dear Santa,
Why do you always skip my house on Christmas Eve? Is it because my parents are scientologists?
-Relym
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John and Mary had never met before, much like two hummingbirds who had also never met before.
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Halowood
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« Reply #96 on: August 05, 2009, 05:16:00 PM » |
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Dear Relym.
Yes.
Santa
Dear Santa,
STARFISHES LOVE YOU!
STARFISH.
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"I had a dream where I was king.
I woke up, still king"
Yeah I wasn't about to let her come in here and keep that shit up. I like this forum.
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Relym
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« Reply #97 on: August 05, 2009, 11:40:51 PM » |
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Dear World,
I am sorry to say that this will be the last thing any of you ever hear from me. Yes, that's right. I'm leaving this world forever. The reason, you ask? Find any starfish, and he'll tell you. He'll tell you all you need to know. But not me. I'll be long dead by the time anyone reads this. GOD DAMN YOU STARFISH!
-Santa
Dear Santa,
Signed,
Relym
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John and Mary had never met before, much like two hummingbirds who had also never met before.
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Halowood
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« Reply #98 on: August 10, 2009, 11:06:19 AM » |
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Dear Relym,
STARFISHES LOVE YOU!
Signed STARFISH.
Dear Santa,
STARFISH NEVER WANT TO LEAVE YOU.
STARFISH.
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"I had a dream where I was king.
I woke up, still king"
Yeah I wasn't about to let her come in here and keep that shit up. I like this forum.
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Relym
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« Reply #99 on: August 10, 2009, 11:13:24 AM » |
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Dear Starfish,
Just because my suicide attempt failed doesn't mean I won't try again. If I'm still alive by next Christmas, you're not getting coal... oh, no. You're getting a face full of lead, is what you're getting.
-Santa
Dear Santa,
Where do babies come from?
-Relym
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John and Mary had never met before, much like two hummingbirds who had also never met before.
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Samuel
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« Reply #100 on: August 23, 2009, 06:00:00 AM » |
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Dear Relym -Stop asking me about the birds and the bees before I give you a firsthand lesson, and tell me what you fucking want for god damn Christmas!!()*%@()*%(@
Dear Santa: I CAN HAZ LAZOR POWURZ NAO!?!?!?
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Relym
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« Reply #101 on: August 23, 2009, 11:24:56 AM » |
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Dear Samuel,
You can have your god damn lazer powers when once you grow a pair. Oh, that's right, you don't have one.
-Santa
Dear Santa,
My mommy says you swear at her after I go to bed.
-Relym
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John and Mary had never met before, much like two hummingbirds who had also never met before.
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Halowood
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« Reply #102 on: August 24, 2009, 09:10:48 PM » |
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Dear Relym, STARFISH LOVE ME LOVE ME STARFISH Dear Santa STARFISH, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER STARFISH STARFISH |
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"I had a dream where I was king.
I woke up, still king"
Yeah I wasn't about to let her come in here and keep that shit up. I like this forum.
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TheGrayK
That Awesome Guy You Know
Senior Member
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 902
Daredevil Extraordinair!
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« Reply #103 on: August 24, 2009, 09:18:24 PM » |
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Dear Halowood WTF you little sack of $h*t! You get nothing for Christmas in fact you don't get to celebrate any holiday now! -Your worst effing nightmare Santa Clause Dear Santa Please can I have enough money to start my business please please please?  |
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The novelty of my own mortality has yet to be torn,
While the vulgarity of my existence has made its welcome worn.
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Woo
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« Reply #104 on: August 24, 2009, 09:27:52 PM » |
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Dear TheGrayK
What am I, your father? I'm busy, go ask someone who cares. or better yet, get a job.
-love Santa
Dear Santa
Please could I have a nice teddy bear for christmas to be my bestest friend and have tea with me?
thank you.
lots of love
- Woo
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"I see London, I see Sam's Town. Holds my hand and lets my hair down, roll's that world right off my shoulder. I see London, I see Sam's Town now." <3 Florence. Woo: 4 Relym: 18 Snowman: 1 Halowood: 5 Iota: 5 some_guy: 0 TheGrayK: 1 Nimnim: 2 - Tisys Lamyl -  |
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Brackenwood
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