Spammy Fantasy I

[Nimnim]

Yes, a multi-genre spam RP. A SPAM RP WITH A PLOT! EVERYONE RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Plot: An evil threat is threatening the world, and it must be saved by some random people who do stupid random quests on their way to slay the evil BRAKALATTABASTA! monster.


Character sheet:

Name:
Sex:
Species:
Age:
Weapon(can be anything, including a christmas ham.):
powers:
obsessions:
idiotic thing that you hate:


Name: Farkle Sparkle Markle barklr (or "squishy" for short)
Sex: Yes please. er...I mean...male.
Species: Spamdroid (spammy android)
Age: 2
Weapon(can be anything, including a christmas ham.): a crystalized giant squid.
powers: can summon and manipulate burger meat
obsessions: cardboard tubes
idiotic thing that you hate: GNOMES!!!!!

rules:
1.no godmodding or saying you kill everyone
2. yes. you may have hammerspace.
3. please, keep it at a certain level of spamminess. nothing too drastic and random.



Begin!:
Squishy walked up to a merchant, squid in hand, and asked simply "CARdBOARD TUUUUBES!?!"

[LavenderFairy]

Name: Mreow
Sex: Female
Species: Cat-Witch
Age: 17
Weapon(can be anything, including a christmas ham.): Kitty Claws xD
powers: Can turn into cathuman o .o
obsessions: Tuna <3
idiotic thing that you hate: People saying "aww cute kitty!"







Mreow runs into the village, her tiny nose sniffling the delicious cooked tuna displayed in the store in front of her. Her mouth starts to water. "Mew?", she pokes her head into the establishment only to meet with a broom slapping her face. "Meaah!". An old hag is glaring at her, the broom in her hand ready for another blow. "Get away from my tuna you rascal!".

Mreow escapes with a red mark on her face and bumps into Squishy´s leg. She looks up at him as he holds the cardboard tube lovingly.

[Nimnim]

'TUBES OF CARDBOARD R 4EVAR MY LUV!" Squishy screams, he then looks down to see a kitten, "MAI CARBORD TOOOB!"

[LavenderFairy]

Mreow blinks twice, and the hunger in her tummy makes her dizzy. She then pictures Squishy´s tube as a tuna and her mouth waters again.

"Mraaa!!", the kitten jumps quickly over him and scratches his face. "Ah!!", he jumps back but wont let go of the tube. "Nooo! its mine!", he twists and turns in a desperate attempt to pry her off only to lose his footing and stumble upon a random rock that appeared out of nowhere.

"Waaah!!", they both fall down over a bunch of boxes filled with fruits, scattering them on the floor. "Oh my love, are you alright?". Squishy hugs the tube and discovers its bent from one side. "Oh no!!, I need a doctor!".

He stands up quickly but slips on a banana peel and falls over Mreow who was just about to move. "Meahh!". Squishy wipes some sweat of his forehead, "Phew, at least I landed on something soft". "mee....". Using all her strenght Mreow crawls out from under him and pants loudly.

"Excuse me sir...", a tall and built man stands before Squishy. "You are gonna pay for all this right?". The boy smiles, a light sweatdrop on his head. "Uh... yeah sure, take my cat". He quickly grabs Mreow, tosses her at the man´s face and escapes.
"Hey you wait! AHHH!". Mreow hisses at the man and attacks him, "Get off me you demon cat!".

Suddenly Mreow gets surrounded by a white smoke and turns humanlike, with cat ears and tail. "Owww...", she lands over the man, sitting on his back. "Hah, that will teach you! Demon cat your granny!". She crosses her arms over her chest and looks around. "Now... where did my tuna go?". 

[Nimnim]

Sqiushy rubs the tube where it's bent, "I'll get to a doctor soon..." he says, he then kisses the tube. he gets up and draws his perma-frozen giant squid blade, slowly walking toward a shop labeled "Mail express", occasinally muttering about the tube.

[LavenderFairy]

Mreow´s tummy grumbled again. "Oww... need some food". She walked forwards looking around the shops until she spotted Squishy.

"Aha! There he goes...", she tried to follow him but tripped. "Meow... this is gonna be hard".

[Nimnim]

Squishy enters the Mail Express, walking up to the counter, and asks "Could you repair my tube?", the clerk looks at him funny, "we can't repair it..." he says, Squishy then yells "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O!!!", prompting all the customers to look at him.

[LavenderFairy]

Mreow finally caught up with Squishy. She entered the store just as he was cursing destiny because his tube couldnt be fixed. "It cant be!!", he fell down on his knees, holding the object close to him. Mreow´s lip quivered, What was wrong with this guy?

"Umm ... I guess I was hallucinating". She then approached the suffering boy and kneeled before him. "Hi! Im Mreow, and I have a solution to your problem!". She flashed him her best smile. "Cupcake?", he muttered, looking at her. She felt her eye twitch but continued, "Lets say I fix your tube and you get me something to eat... mmm something like Tuna!. So what do you think?".

[Nimnim]

"hmm..." Squishy considers, there was no flaws in this plan. "YES!" he accepts the offer.

[LavenderFairy]

"Awright!", Mreow cheered. "Now hand me the tube". Squishy took a step back, "Nooo! MY TUBE!". The catgirl frowned, "Then how am I supposed to fix it?". Squishy stuck out his tongue at her, "Phht, I wonder". Mreow looked around and smirked, "Banzai!". She leaped at Squishy who gasped and dodged her by inches. She landed on the other side where a broom rested. In a quick movement, she took the broom, gave a somersault and surprised Squishy by falling on top of him, she then placed the broom on his back and applied pressure, not letting him move.

"Aghhh NOOOO!!", he squirmed and struggled but she was firmly seated over his back and the broom. "There! Hahahaha who´s laughing now?". Squishy frowned, "You´re fat get off me". Mreow gasped, "You idiot!". She hit him on the head with her fist. "Oww... ok ok im kidding". The catgirl crossed her arms over her chest, "Hmph You better be. Now, where were we?". She took the tube from his hands and inspected it. "Oh its only bent, I bet we could fix it with some tape".

After borrowing some tape from the attendant at the post office and succesfully fixing the tube, Mreow and Squishy wandered around the town looking for tuna. "Aww man, I really am starving", she murmured, watching the stores lit up as the place got darker.

"Kyaaa im so jealous!". A pair of girls passed by chatting and laughing. "Its the biggest banquet ever served and its only for royalty...", a girl was saying. "Yeah, too bad we arent invited huh?", the other answered. "If we could only sneak inside". They quickly passed Mreow and Squishy. Mreow´s ears perked, "Hey Squishy did you hear that?". "Hmm?", he looked at her as he nibbled on his tube.

She took it away from him, "No dont eat this!". He frowned, "Tubbbeee!". She placed a hand over her lips, "Shh! We need to find a way to sneak into the palace! Just imagine all that food <33". Squishy nodded, "Oh ... but how?". The catgirl placed a hand on her chin, "Hmm... I dunno, lets think of something".

[Nimnim]

"hmm...we could make a car out of pumpkins an fly into the castle" Squishy says, he then spots a sign, "apply for major quest at castle" he reads, "HEY! we should apply to go on a major quest."

[Samuel]

Name: Sam
Sex: Male
Species: Human
Age: 200 something, magically extended life, appears 16
Weapon: Staff
Obsession: Coins
Idiotic thing that you hate: Getting lost

Name: Blarghargh
Sex: Male
Species: Quadarm Cycloptian
Age:
Weapon: FISTS
Obsession: BOOZE
Idiotic thing that you hate: NOT GETTING BOOZE

Next to the kitty and the tube-obsessed man...
"Aaah! This one was minted thousands of years ago, just look at it!" Sam exclaimed. "Anyyyways... what do you think, Blarghargh? Should we go get this quest?"
"Aaaaassshh looohng ash it getsh meh b00ze!!! *Hic*"

[Samuel]

"BLARGHARGH LOOK OUT A DOUBLE POST DEMON!"
"KILL IHT WITH FAYRE!"

[LavenderFairy]

Mreow looked at the strange people at her side and frowned. "This is getting weirder by the second...". She turned to Squishy who was jumping up and down excited at the sign. "Ok, lets move then".

They followed an arrow that was conveniently pointing to the way towards the castle entrance. Outside were two guards, one seated behind a desk and the other one holding some kind of bracelets. "Welcome young warriors! Are you here for the quest?". Squishy hugged his tube, "TOOOB!". The guard raised an eyebrow, "Uh... welcome young warriors a-are y-you here..." Squishy´s pupils dilated, "TOOOOOOOOBBBBE". "Ah!!", the man hid behind the other one, trembling. "Ok ok, dont hurt me! Here take this and go inside!". He threw them two bracelets.

Mreow chuckled, "Well Squishy, you sure are handy sometimes!". He glared at her, "I see the way you are looking at my...". She placed a hand on his head, deliberately interrupting him. "Lets go in meow! ".

The huge doors opened before them and they entered a beautiful courtyard. There were several warriors preparing themselves. Mreow and Squishy approached a sign , it read. "Eliminatory Competition, please ready yourselves". She placed her hands on her hips, "Damn... so we need to fight?". Squishy laughed maniacally, "Ooooh !".


TBC**

[Nimnim]

from apparently out of nowhere squishy drew his squid, "THE TUBE ISH MYNE!!" he yelled as a battle cry, several warriors looked up in confusion. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Squishy laughed, but his laugh sounded strange...almost mechanical....