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Brackenwood > The Dark Hall > Wordsmithery > Lend me your ears! > Vulnerability
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Relym
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Gimme a listen, check my profile for music.


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« on: May 24, 2009, 12:47:35 PM »
I opened my heart for you
I made myself vulnerable if only to have you
I risked my existence to make myself a home for you
But you missed your chance

You waited much too long for me
You wasted time, and ignored me
You took my infatuation for granted, and lured me
And so while my heart lay open, like a door...
Something else crawled in, and made me wrong


Yeah, not a rhyming poem. Just something I came up with the other day. I hope you enjoy. Any critiques, comments, even insults are welcome. Anything to help shape this into something better.
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John and Mary had never met before, much like two hummingbirds who had also never met before.
Woo
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I was sinking, now I'm sunk...
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2009, 03:57:25 AM »
I think its just fine as it is.  Smiley
once again, I really llike
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"I see London, I see Sam's Town. Holds my hand and lets my hair down, roll's that world right off my shoulder. I see London, I see Sam's Town now."

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Relym
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« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2009, 07:47:22 AM »
Thanks Smiley As much as I hope to stray away from such depressing poems, I liked this one too.
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John and Mary had never met before, much like two hummingbirds who had also never met before.
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