Which of these is your favorite Novelty Science Story?

[servomoore]

I and some mates were going to start these program called "Nerd Alerts" for University Television where we would do short little toons with little stories about weird things that happened in the world of real science, and I would like to hear which one you like best and why (I would like to emphasize all the following are allegedly true):

A. Isaac Newton deliberately sticks a sewing needle between his eyeball and the top of his eye socket.
B. Matches are invented as an off-shoot of an experiment where a Swiss Chemist believed that it was possible to extract gold from urine, and collected large vats which went bad and sometimes burst into flame.
C. Nonprofessional scientist JBS Haldane makes breakthrough discoveries in the prevention of the Bends and other maladies by applying friends, family, and anyone he could to high pressure and other adverse conditions in his specially designed chamber. 

Please tell me why a certain one might be your favorite. 

[Snowman]

Well first off I'd like to ask what aim your "Nerd Alerts" show would have. I assume you're going to try and make it humorous, so in that case I personally think that letter B has the largest possibility of hilarity.
I kind of pictured like a mad scientist-looking guy with like darty eyes holding a vial and writing stuff down. Then he's like "gold from urine, I'm a genius!" and he rounds up a bunch of people to piss in bags. I guess I'm not sure how the vats of urine burst into flame but I imagined him watching people urinating in these bags rubbing his palms together all mad-scientist-like, then some bags behind him go up in flames. And voila, matches!
I would enjoy watching a toon on that situation, but you have to mention that it's a true story because that's one of the best parts 

[Good Philosopher]

B. It's your best one by far.